Today is day two. And i got some sleep so i feel a little better. I dont feel like i have been crying for months and months over. Of course im not better better though. If that makes any sence. Just taking it One day at a time. Well actually an hour at a time. I was looking online at http://find-a-therapist.com/ Im actually thinking of doing this. But its soo costly. And i forsure do not have that kind of Money *sigh* We will see. I just dunno if i can get over this without one. Sure a bunch of people are there for me. Which helps. But maybe a therapist would help also? They cost alot. So we will see..
Last night all i basically did is lay and bed and think.. and think.. i could not sleep! . Finally 7am. I fell asleep. and woke up at 11am. Im glad i got some sleep. I feel refreshed. But im bad cause i asked derek to cuddle.. WHY DID I? i can't believe how stupid i was...
Then i got to thinking.. about everything.. My whole life is crushed! We had so many plans. Get married. Get a real house ina couple years.. we had vacations planned out. This year we were suppose to go with our friends out.. and this couple thing we do every year *Cries* . We planned on TTCing August 2008. *Cries* . We planned on moving to NC evenually... yeah not happening.. Any of it. nothing.. everything i'd want in life is gone. I still plan continue school on being a nurse. But my life right now seems like nothing. Expect my daughter. Of course she is the only thing pulling me through.. Honestly If i didn't have her. Come april i prolly would have left this state. I would have went off else where. prolly Florida or something. But i dont have that choice right now.. *sigh*
Also i'd like to add Its noon and i have not cried yet. So far that is my goal... amazing.. Also i guess derek needs to *think* about everything. but i bet he will email me today.. blah!
4 comments:
Hugs! One day when you are ready can you tell us what happened. I know it is so hard right now but there will be light at the other end soon. Call and talk to a doc. and see if they can set up a payment plan.
Michelle
Do you have a job? I think you said you do. Some places will offer counseling for employees, otherwise maybe someone at your school can help you find someone. I think seeing a counselor would be helpful. You can still move to NC, or where ever you want!
I'm not sure how religious you are but churches are an excellent place for free counseling. Also schools, your job. If none of these are an option to you call your county social services and ask for income-based counseling (you will pay what you can afford, based on your income.) A county worker will be much cheaper than a private therapist. Hang in there kiddo!
~Liz (pg.org)
Thinking 'bout you lots *hugs*
Post a Comment